Quick note:
Please understand, I
wrote this really fast. So there are most likely misspellings or
wording. I'll try to fix things later. This became a lot longer than I
expected. Thanks.
Why I am posting this:
One of the most common DM’s I get is “How do I find someone who is into ANR?” and “How do I bring up my interest in ANR”.
Quick definition of ANR:
For those who don't know what ANR is. The simplest way to define ANR is, anytime the nipple of the breast is orally stimulated by another adult. The couple is engaged in some form of ANR.
see: Understanding Adult Breastfeeding Relationships (ANR/ABR & ABF)
In an earlier post "I would first say don't bring up ANR or breastfeeding. But still be honest. Tell them you are a boob man/woman or you like you breast play." I had a lot of people in ANR tell me they had some success with this approach. But several of them told me they had there there best success with the two profile approach.
Know what you really want:
You must first ask yourself:
- Do you really want an ANR or does ANR represent something else you are needing?
- What is it you really want or need in an ANR? Is it to feel loved, to mother/be mothered, security. Or for the health benefits.
- Why?
- What are you willing to give up? Is lactation important or can you do without it. How much time are you willing to put into you ANR. Like in any relationship. You must be ready to take time from your hobbies, games or friends and put it into your breastfeeding relationship.
The reason I ask this is because, a lot of people have a fantasy of what they think they want. But fantasy and reality are two different things. An analogy of this is. Some women, and some guys fantasize of being raped. But it's not what they want in reality. In reality they may just want their partner to be more dominating. Some areas of ANR can be somewhat simulator.
So let's start with, Do you really want an ANR? Do you really want a breastfeeding relationship or is it more of just a nurturing relationship. Meaning what is your priority? Is it sex or affection? True ANR is primarily about giving and receiving affection as well as about being there for each others needs.
What is it you really want or need in an ANR? And why? Do you want or need lactation? There are several reasons people desire or need lactation in there ANR. Some of the most common reasons you or your partner may want lactation are for:
Lactation play. Also known as Lactophillia.
To fulfill a fantasy. (Not a good reason for lactation)
Boost security in the relationship. (Not a good reason for lactation)
Medical such as Cancer prevention, Loose Weight, Crohn's disease, Body or mussel building, etc... (This is one of the most common reasons.)
To help bring milk in for a new born or adopted baby. (Another common reason.)
With this kind of ANR. You both must be dedicated to it and each other. You can't start and then decide it's not what you want. This can be (and often is) a long and hard process. Once lactation starts and you or your partner decides it's not for you/them. It is usually vary cruel and Both physically and emotionally painful. This can destroy trust and your relationship.
For some, lactation is more about the fantasy. But when they start receiving the milk. Reality kicks in and they become squeamish or find it's not what they were expecting. Also, dedication and the time required with their partner may become too overwhelming.
Are you into ANR for something other than the milk? A non lactation relationship is the most common in ANR. Most people in ANR are not into it for the milk. Though some may still fantasize of the milk. They are often into ANR for the intimacy, emotional or the medical benefits.
Some of the most common reasons are:
- To feel more intimate with your partner.
- Foreplay or to boost sex drive.
- As a sexual
alternative to sexual intercourse for reasons such as erectile
dysfunction or other medical reasons.
- Oxytocin high.
- Relief from stress, anxiety or depression.
- Increase a sense of femininity.
- Relaxation and mood improvement.
- Increase breast size.
Even if you are not sure. This kind of ANR is a great way to start with.
Once you have an idea of what it is you want. You are more prepared to honestly describe to your future partner what it is you are wanting or needing. Keep in mind things can and often do change as your ANR grows.
Next step. A Word of Caution:
When you meet your potential partner. Don't bring up ANR or breastfeeding. This will scare most of them away. The best approach is be honest without giving too much information. Here is how you tell someone you are into ANR without saying ANR or breastfeeding.
If you are in sucking on the boob. Then you might say "I'm a boob man/woman and I love sucking on boobs."
If you are wanting your breast sucked on. Then you might say "I love it when the attention is on the breasts." or "I love having my breast sucked on."
Don't go any further into ANR. At least not yet. Because people tend to see ANR as something it's not. There are exceptions to this.
A little history:
In the past, I suggested to start a post in a social media platform that describes you and what you are looking for. I don't usually support most dating services or sites. You really don't need them so don't wast you money or time on them. There are free and better ways.
The two profile
approach:
Why the to two profile approach? Well as I said, people tend to assume ANR is something it's not. With this approach. You focus on two audiences with the same interest. The difference is one does not know what ANR is. But may still be interested in it. So your approach is going to be slightly different. The other is for those who know what ANR is and may be looking.
Create both profiles. One is for a general profile and the other is for an ANR profile.
Remember, Keep it basic and simple. Be honest and don't give too much information. There are scammers out there that will use it. Plus this will give your partner things to start a conversation with.
Your general profile:
Your first name: (optional)
Sex: male(M)/female(F).
Year of birth: Don't put in your actual age or your full birth date. By only placing the year, you won't have to update it later.
Basic location: City, State, Country or just State, Country. Never your full address.
Your basic marital status: only (married, not married or separated) will do. Don't say divorced or widowed or other. This can scare people off and draw in scammers.
A basic description of you: Remember, you want to give them something to talk about. So being somewhat vague but not too vague. This will give them reason to contact you with questions and start a conversation.
Keep it short. Think of it like a resume for a job. If it's too long or too detailed. Then they may get board with it and move on. If too short. They my not see anything of interest. Only bring out a few key points about yourself and leave the rest for later conversation.
Also, here you might want to include general (optional) things like.
- Your taste in music.
- Hobbies.
- The type of work you do. Such as retail, manufacturing ect. Again be vague.
- Social activities such as:
- What you volunteer for
- Church activities.
- Blogging.
- etc.
For your general profile. You can describe your ANR desire only in the basic term. You should not say anything directly regarding breastfeeding or ANR. Here you would say something like "I'm a boob man/woman and I love sucking on boobs." or "I love it when the attention is on the breasts." or "I love having my breast sucked on.". If it's for a medical reason. You can say you need it for medical reasons and describe it and why? But avoid describing it directly as ANR.
Describe what it is you are looking for in your partner.
Sex preference:
year range: (optional)
basic location: (optional)
A basic description of what you are looking for:
Now for Your ANR profile:
For your ANR profile: It is all the same except here you will call it ANR or Adult breastfeeding. You will also describe what you are looking for in your ANR.
Here is an example of the two profiles:
My general profile
Social activities: Spending time with family, Volunteering for Children's Cancer Network and Hope Kids, Blogging to help people understand adult breastfeeding relationships, Bringing couples and families closer.
Politics: (It's sad that we should have this. I would not normally include this.) I am an old school American. I believe every legal American citizen has the right to vote for who ever they feel is best for the country. Even if I don't agree with that person. That is the true American way. To be honest. I don't trust any of our politicians. Especially democrats. But that’s my opinion. I feel that you can disagree but if you hate me for it. Then you are not a true American.
About me: I am a boob man and you probably caught me looking at one time or another. Please don't be offended. I meant no disrespect.
I am often vary busy either at work, at home with family, volunteering, or working one of my many projects. When I need to get away. I like to escape to the mountains or to one of the lakes.
What I'm looking for: Just to be clear, I'm not! But for this example and if I was. For a woman who like to cuddle and likes to be cuddled. a woman who has similar interests. Being a breast man, I am looking for as woman who is into breast play and likes oral nipple stimulation. I find it vary intimate and is one of the ways I feel and express my affection.
My ANR profile:
Social activities: Spending time with family, Volunteering for Children's Cancer Network and Hope Kids, Blogging to help people understand adult breastfeeding relationships, Bringing couples and families closer.
Politics: (It's sad that we should have this. I would not normally include this.) I am an old school American. I believe every legal American citizen has the right to vote for who ever they feel is best for the country. Even if I don't agree with that person. That is the true American way. To be honest. I don't trust any of our politicians. Especially democrats. But that’s my opinion. I feel that you can disagree but if you hate me for it. Then you are not a true American.
About me: I am into Adult breastfeeding. Lactation is not important. I am open to lactation but it is not a must. I find ANR very intimate and is one of the ways I feel and express my affection.
I am often very busy either at work, at home with family, volunteering, or working one of my many projects. When I need to get away. I like to escape to the mountains or to one of the lakes.
What I'm looking for: Just to be clear, I'm not! But for this example and if I was. I would be looking for a woman who like to cuddle and likes to be cuddled. A woman who has similar interests. A woman who is into ANR.
Posting your profiles:
With the public view and misconception of ANR. Most of us rather keep our ANR private. Well for the most part we don't want people to know we are into ANR. Being a boob man is considered normal. But people tend to see ANR as something different. So with that in mind. I suggest using platforms that will keep your identity private. That’s why I use places like Blogger, You tube, Reddit and Instagram. Because you can use other names rather than your own.
Were almost done:
You will need two identities. For this example I have True ANR and I have Charles Boobman. Charles Boobman.blogspot.com would be for my general profile and True.ANR..blogspot.com would be my ANR profile.
Now create the same identities on your social media platform such as Instagram. When you comment on anyone’s post. they will see you. if your responce and avatar looks interesting. they will most likely checkout your posts. Be sure to place a link to you profiles such as IG profile. This way they can find you.
Don't just start dropping spam bombs on to everyone. Some ANR groups will allow you to post comments on there posts with basic information. Make sure it's okay before you do so. Basic info is generally something like.
looking for ANR.
or
21 SF looking for SM into ANR
Post things on your platform of choice such as Instagram. Even if it is just pictures of your pet. Fallow others. This will help you stand out.
A good avatar and title that reflects who you are. Will also help you stand out.
That's it.
Like I said. This is what several people have told me that work best for them.
Good luck.
you can fallow me on Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/true_anr/?hl=en or @true_anr
